DeJaVu

Was able to exchange messages with someone from my past today…someone tI have tried to find for the last few years…and HE was important enough to make me blog…I guess I cannot really figure out my feelings…the last time we saw each other was sixteen years ago, but I guess he may have had an enormous impact on my life (without me really realizing it) gauging from the way I am feeling right now…I want to cry, yet I am really happy to be able to finally get hold of HIM…how can you forget your first love, first kiss, first heartache?…there were just too many memories, though vague, of us…I really do not know what to think or feel…my heart is heavy (my eyes too from unshed tears)…but (at the same time) I am glad that is HE is doing really well right now…hearing HIM sing on the background just adds to the agony…maybe its just the excitement that’s causing all the confusion…the excitement that’s causing all those old feelings to come rushing in again…the excitement that’s causing me to wonder how it would have turned out if we ended up together…maybe i am just being too sentimental…or stupid maybe…but I do know (now) that HE has been and will always be special to me…YOU know who YOU are…I dont know if YOU will be able to read this, but know in your heart (and mind), that you will always be an important part of me, and that I have no regrets whatsoever…and I do want to keep what we have just rekindled today. I love YOU…maybe just as a friend, maybe for something deeper…but I guess, at this point I will never really have the chance to know, nor will I have the chance to show you…